So, you're sitting at home. Minding your own business. Watching a favorite TV show. Then, it happens. You are verbally attacked by the very TV station you're watching: "Tonight, at 10, the danger lurking in your kitchen cupboard that could make your ears fall off! See our special report!" or "If it happens in Kansas City...it's NEWS to us!" or "We saved you from (pick one) predators/bad meat/faulty seat belts/shady siding salesmen/crooked yarn vendors. Now, we're going to make sure you know it and watch us forever!" Yes, the ever-present, increasingly strident, "promo." They are really commercials for the station but are called "promos" in an effort to pretend we're not really pleading for your viewership. Kind of like the "Corporate Underwriting Provided By..." things that run on PBS nowadays. We all know what it really is but Charlie Rose, Bill Moyers and Elmo would all burst into tears if they felt they had gone "commercial!"

I'm not knocking them and I fully understand that they serve a purpose. It is important that viewers know, for example, that the weather team will be here and on the job when severe storms bubble up. Keeping folks safe is the main idea when the weather turns bad. And, frankly, anything that will entice you to watch FirstNews, for example, I'm all for! I've got lots of mouths to feed, shoes to buy and college tuitions to fork over. I just wish, every now and then, we could have a little more fun with them. This very day, the entire Channel 9 weather team will descend on the new building to shoot one of these promos. In this video bit, we will all look very serious and hard at work. It will resemble, in no small measure, several scenes from Star Trek: The Wrath Of Kahn, and not just because the new weather center does look like a space ship. If we had a crane available, I'm almost certain the promo would end with a high shot looking down on us as we look up and scream "STOOOOORRRRRMMMM!" A few years ago, we did one of these things and there was a shot of me leaning over the computers staring out into the distance with a look on my face that said "I am the only thing standing between the people and the apocalypse." I was probably really thinking "I wonder if we have any string cheese left at home or did the kids eat it all."

Every station, everywhere, does this kind of thing. Back when our daughter, Samantha, was just a toddler, a different station introduced their new SuperDooperDoubleScooperDippityDooDahDoppler Radar during the Olympic games. Every time it aired, with the big, booming voice, scarily urgent music and rapid fire changing video, Samantha thought there was a major storm striking at that very moment. She couldn't quite say "tornado" so she'd run around saying "Oh, no. A big tomato is coming!" It wasn't always this way. There was a time when weather promos and, for that matter, station promos in general, were kinder and gentler.

The first station promo I was ever involved in was back in Madison, Wisconsin at WMTV, Channel 15. It started with our main weatherman, and most popular person on Madison TV, Elmer Childress, indulging in one of his passions: golf. Elmer hit a ball which then bounced all over town...finding the Channel 15 folks out and about. I was sitting on a pier with the then-young Jingles the Dog, as the golf ball rolled by. Sometime later, we shot a winter-time promo out at the lake home of my mom and her husband. All the anchor folks put on their parkas and hit the frozen tundra. That snow-covered hill, dotted with pines, would've made Norman Rockwell proud. Snowmobiles, skates, sleds...it was all about having fun in the Wisconsin winter...as opposed to today when most winter promos make sure we all know that snow maybe pretty but it is deadly! Don't be fooled!

Here at KMBC, we once did a weather promo with former Good Morning America weatherman, Spencer Christian. It was pretty simple. Just Bryan Busby, Spencer Christian and I sitting in the weather center asking folks to watch from morning 'til night. Now, there was a lot of laughing going on and more than a few out-takes. So, the very clever and creative promotional producer, Steve Revare, decided to make two versions of the clip. One was played straight and to the point. The other featured all the goofy stuff. By far, the goofy one got the most attention. All of it positive. Steve also made a promo for my little talk-show, after*words, that featured me interviewing myself about the new program. Now, two of me is really two too many, but it was still a neat idea. It didn't air for very long before the big cheeses pulled it for fear that viewers would revolt at the revolting sight of two Joels.

Now, I know that some of these ideas may seem kind of hokey and old-fashioned. I'm sure there is very expensive research that indicates what kind of promos work and what kind do not. Still, as that great philosopher Huey Lewis, once sang "It's hip to be square." Just on occasion, maybe we could do a promo that makes a person feel happy, rather than anxious. I am approaching a quarter century being around broadcasting...much longer if you count my babyhood when my dad ran a radio station...and, in that time, one weather promo got more of a response than any other with which I've been involved. Again, it was back at WMTV in Madison with Elmer Childress. Elmer and I had been sent a song, written by a pair of local brothers name Howland, called The Cloudy Skies Will Clear Up. It was a simple tune with an uplifting message. So, for the spot, I played and the two of us sang. No dramatic footage of houses being blown over. No mention of radar. No intensely somber looks at the camera. Just a couple of guys singing a happy little song. "The cloudy skies will clear up. They soon will turn blue. Just smile and the sun will come through." Pure corn. Silly. Nothing the least bit frightening. The only remarkable thing about it was its success. People loved it. They actually called the station asking to see it...asking for a commercial!

Yes, here at KMBC, we have the very best, most advanced weather technology. We have the most years of experience studying and talking about our area's weather. We will be here...on the tube and on the net...to keep you safe and informed. But, would it hurt anything to let everyone also know that, even when the weather is not turning nasty, we maybe able to brighten your day a bit? Like that old song said "So, please, don't be sad. Just smile and be glad. For the cloudy skies will clear up, if you will only cheer up. The cloudy skies will clear up for you."