There's not much to this story and I'm pretty sure there is no deeper meaning to it...but, why should today's literablog be different from any other day. I get into the station around 3:00 a.m. As I'm driving in, I often hear the voice of Sinatra: "It's quarter to three. There's no one in the place 'cept you and me....and that semi-driver and that state trooper and a variety of possums and raccoons." Okay, I apologize to Johnny Mercer for desecrating his lyrics. Anyway, I got here today at my usual time. The weather center is in the basement of the building so it's very quiet and still. Well, I planted myself in the chair in front of a couple of the weather computers and started to pretend I know what I'm doing. Again, business as usual.

Then, it happened.

As I wheeled the chair from one computer to the other, I took a total tumble. The chair fell over and I ended up on my shoulder and knees. No reason. Just splat. Now, there has always been talk that the Lyric Opera Building, where Channel 9 is located, is haunted. Some say the spirit of a stage hand wanders the place...playing pranks. As many of you may know, KMBC will be leaving the Lyric shortly for a new state-of-the-art studio. Perhaps, the so-called ghostie is sad to see us go! Maybe he or she upended my chair! I mean, how does a person just fall over in a chair? Now, I've tripped over cables in the darkened studio before. I even fell off the news-set once...it's about a ten inch drop. But, at least in those cases, there was a reason for the stumble. This morning, I just plain fell over.

In the olden days, when Channel 9's poor judgement allowed me to do silly feature stories, I did a lot of pratfalls. Whenever I didn't have a real finish for a story, I would try to trip, fall over or run into something. In the hands (or keister) of a master like Chaplin or Jerry Lewis or Will Farrell, slapstick can be an artfully beautiful thing but for me it was just a way to overcome my lack of writing skills. Once, while doing a Halloween story, to make the point that costumes need to be safe, I appeared to trip on a too-long robe and do a header down a hill. I've been slapped on camera. I've fallen on the ice. I've gone flying off sleds as they zoom down icy hills. During the American Royal Parade, some years back, I would get out of the pick-up truck to visit with folks along the road then run back to the vehicle and do a flip over the side into the bed of the truck. I made it through all those things...and many others...with little more than the occasional bruise. Now, just sitting in a chair...in the middle of the night...all alone...quietly...has become a demonstration of extreme clumsiness. The worst of it is that this little fall has left my rapidly aging body rather achy and sore.

So, this is what it has come to: falling out of my chair for no apparent reason and feeling it in my bones the rest of the day. On the positive side, it does give me hope for continuing my so-called broadcast career. I know, once everything goes HD and people get a clear look at my ugly mug, they will decide they just can't take it and I'll be bounced. So, based on this night's solo-acrobatics act, I believe I can become a spokesman for a very popular product. I already know my line: "Help. I've fallen and I can't get up."