I am speechless. Really. The spectacle I witnessed on Saturday night has left me completely stunned. Some of what I saw will stay with me for many, many, many, many weeks, months...years. Yes. My wife and I were in attendance when Jere Gish and Donna Pitman, as well as other KC notables, hit the stage to benefit Cristo Rey school, as part of the first ever Kansas City Dances With Stars! As emcee, Bryan Busby, stated at the start, this is a totally new kind of event for our area and it was a toe-tapping success. Frankly, it was all about the feet, including Mr. Busby's. He was all decked out in a tuxedo but wearing tennis shoes. He did have a lot of running around to do...and his tennis shoes probably cost more than my entire wardrobe...but I never did find out why he was formal until the ankles. Nonetheless, he did his usual fine job keeping things moving.

Monday morning on FirstNews, we talked about all the great volunteer dancers like Bobby Bell, Mary Sanchez, Manny Lopez, Crosby Kemper III and, the eventual winner, Jan Stephenson. We can't forget the wonderful professional dancers that made everyone look terrific and the Swingsters dance troupe, too. Also, we all had a chance to meet the real stars: students from Cristo Rey. But, what about Jere and Donna?

First, Donna Pitman: She could do this dancing stuff for a living. Along with her world-champion partner Louis Bar, the two of them were amazing. All the moves were right on the money. If, some morning we announce that Donna has left FirstNews to appear on Broadway, don't be surprised. They danced to the Michael Jackson song Bad (Donna did the moonwalk everywhere she went this morning) and they were just that: "bad!" But, in the best sense of that word. Frankly, I still get confused by that reverse logic. Don't go by me, though, because I'm still working on what "hep" means...as in "hep cat." And, to me, "groovy" just describes my face after falling asleep on a corduroy pillow. My one attempt at talking in a modern vernacular when I was a teenager was leaving the dinner table by saying "I've gotta split." Now, in a little Wisconsin town, "I've gotta split" is something you only utter in a bowling alley...or when you're wearing pants, two-sizes too small, to the beer and brat tent during Town and Country Days. But, despite my lack of "hep talk" ability, let me say that Donna and Louis were absolutely cool, neato, swell, peachy, and ultra-hunky-dory.

That brings us to Jere Gish. Jere's partner was Laura Cantu, a world-class dancer. As much as I would like to pick on Jere's performance, I simply can't do it...it would be horribly inaccurate. And, you all know, from watching my weathercasts, how important accuracy is to me. Okay, bad example. But, still, I have to admit Mr. Gish was impressive. He walked out on stage, tossed his jacket and hat to the side and made his moves. It was so good we are going to start opening FirstNews with Jere tossing his jacket and hat to the side as the show opens. He did something with his hands that looked like a guy walking out of a men's room where there were no towlets for drying off. He also did some sort of pelvic thrust move that looked a little like Elvis on a slow day. If I ever tried such a thing, I'd be in traction for a month and prison for five to ten. As talented in Terpsichore as Mr. Gish turned out to be, I do have concerns that, now, every news story he does will have to have an element of dance. For example, while firefighters are drowning some blaze, Jere will be there, umbrella in hand, pretending to be Gene Kelly singin' in the rain. Or, while showing us which direction the thieves ran, he'll incorporate some sort of twirl and two-step. If he ever does a story around a body of water, the Swan Lake catalog will be unstoppable and, frankly, I don't think Kansas City is ready for Jere Gish in a tutu. (If it was me, it would be four-four.) Yes, some of this is sour grapes because there is absolutely no way I'd ever have the nerve to do what Gish did. Just squeezing into the spandex would be untenable. Gish looked physically fit. I'd look like a stuffed kielbasa.

The rumor around the station is, now that Pitman & Gish are the new Rogers & Astaire, that each morning on FirstNews, they will start to report the news in musical-comedy form:

Gish: "Well, Donna, it looks like the stock market took a beating yesterday."

Pitman: "A beating, Jere? How about just a beat?" (She starts snapping her fingers.)

At this point, the drums start with a syncopated riff. Pitman jumps onto the anchor desk and does a quick tap routine. Here comes Gish sliding across the studio on his knees. The orchestra swells and they're into a five minute piece of choreography featuring dancing bulls and bears and dollar signs. Maybe I'd have a three second cameo as Alan Greenspan, trying to rein them in.

Well, we'll see. In any case, congratulations to Cristo Rey on such a successful effort and, especially, to Channel 9's Dancing Donna and Jumpin' Jere. You made everyone on FirstNews proud.