Wednesday's FirstNews had a story about babies and toddlers having too much stuff. With four kids, especially when they were all little, going anywhere was like moving an army for that very reason. You needed strollers, for example. The big boys, being so close in age, used a double stroller. I took many laps around English Landing Park in Parkville, while my wife ran the same loop, pushing that monstrosity. You'd think I would have lost some of my baby weight that way but I suspect the burning of calories was offset by the large bag of M&Ms and carton of powdered donuts I had sitting on the top of the stroller. My wife would quickly run her way back into shape after each baby while I just increased in square footage.

In addition to that stroller, we had a couple of playpens over the years. I usually ended up using it myself after I surrendered all control to the children. We also put the Christmas Tree in it one year to help the kids and, frankly, dog, avoid temptation. We had gates everywhere and those plastic locks on the cupboards. That safety stuff didn't always keep the kids out of those areas but it sure slowed me down. You know things aren't working as they should when you find yourself asking the two year old how to get that lock thingy off the pantry so you can get to your Oreos.

We had cribs and cradles and bassinets all over the place. Our oldest had to be lulled to sleep by putting him into one of the baby carrier deals and then pushed back and forth on the carpet at just the right speed. Of course, transferring him from carrier to crib would wake him up and we'd start over. The second son fell asleep best spread eagle on my chest. It was a sweet, cuddly way to get him to doze off. Of course, today, it's not so easy. He's much heavier and the hair on his legs is scratchy. Samantha slept in her own crib from the first night. As she will tell you, she was the perfect baby. By the time Harrison came along we gave up and let him fall asleep in our bed. I know that is not recommended for any number of reasons but it worked for him and for us. Hey! Elvis slept in his parent's bed until he was 11 and he was Elvis!

There were the necessary items like car-seats. We all know how important those things are but, for lots of folks my age, riding in the car used to be an adventure. You didn't have car-seats. Sometimes the car didn't even have seat-belts...especially in the back. That area was like a rolling play-pen. You would move around or stretch out to sleep or, sometimes, if you were good, be allowed to sit in the front on top of that middle, built-in, booster seat. Now, we know how dangerous all those things were. But, even back then, I suspected my dad was taking this loose attitude too far by strapping my big brothers to the roof-top baggage carrier and using me as a replacement for his missing hood ornament. While I enjoyed the view, I did get lots of bugs in my teeth and it was cold wearing that toga and I felt silly holding the spear.

After we left the stroller stage for the big boys, we got a wagon to pull them around in at parks and other outdoor spots. Taylor, the younger of the two, didn't like being a passenger. He would crawl out of the wagon and grab the handle, proceeding to pull his older brother from place to place. I can only remember a couple times that Taylor dumped Alex out of the wagon. The first time it was an accident. The second time...I'm not so sure. Most of the time, older brother, Alex, was perfectly content to be carted around. All these years later, they haven't changed much: Taylor likes to drive because he likes to drive. Alex will drive if necessary but has no problem being a passenger, if at all possible.

The two youngest kiddos used those cheap umbrella-style strollers. Aside from occasionally enveloping the child completely, they worked pretty well. We wore one out walking around Disney World, making the plastic wheels just a memory. I never had much luck with those baby carrier deals that worked like a back-pack. By the time I would get the little one and myself in the harness, the baby would've been dragging me around.

Of all the child-related stuff we have had around our house over the years, I remember one in particular. It was "Baby-Scoot-A-Long" for the kid who is just learning to walk. In this case, it was for our first born. It had a canvas seat and four wheels. We encountered a couple problems due to this contraption. First, Alex was quite happy to sit in this thing and just glide from spot to spot. It did nothing to encourage him to walk. Of course, this is same child that was happy to have his younger brother pull him around in the wagon. To this day, nobody I know can lounge like Alex. The second problem involved Alex' use of the conveyance as a guided missile. He would position himself on the far side of the kitchen...take careful aim at the back of his mother's legs as she stood over the sink and, then, launch himself, with all of his toddler might, directly at her. He did it over and over and over and laugh maniacally every time. The first couple of times my wife thought it was cute and funny. Then, it became a test of wills. It still comes up when she's upset with him about something: "And, don't think I've forgotten all the bruises on my shins from you and that scooting thing!"

We hope Alex has left this behavior behind since trading his Baby-Scoot-A-Long for a Ford Escort.