Casey and I take a walk everyday. I've mentioned Casey before in this e-spot. He is a Golden Retriever with a very prominent cone-head. It is really pointy. If I could just train him to use his noggin like one of those sharp sticks that folks use cleaning up along the side of the road, I'd have something! Casey is a bit of a wimp, frankly. He's a Retriever who's afraid of water. When we see geese or ducks, Casey actually blushes...not easy to do when your face is covered with fur. If it is just a little drizzly outside and I open the door to let him out, the look he gives me says "You've got to be kidding. I'm not going out in that!" This dog must have a bladder the size of Rhode Island. Yet, when it comes to his daily walk, he'll venture out the door no matter what: cold...rain...snow...ice. He's the Cliff Claven of dogs.

Sometimes Casey doesn't seem like the kind of dog that would be bringing the three-bean-salad to the Canine Mensa Picnic. Still, he is able to tell weekends from weekdays. On weekend mornings, we usually head out the door around seven. We take the same basic route for the first part of the stroll then we come to a decision point. If we go left, Casey gets to run through a field and end up in a wooded, marshy area. If we go straight, it's all neighborhood. Weekends we do the marsh and he knows it. Weekdays we go home quicker...and he knows it. Maybe it's the kids being home that clues him in that it is a marsh day. He knows when it is a weekend day and we DON'T go through the marsh because he strains at the leash and, later in the day, hides the channel changer.

If, for some reason Casey doesn't get his walk right away, he stalks me from room to room...muttering nasty things about me under his dog-breath. Yes, this mutt can mutter. He learned it from his fadder.

We had a story on FirstNews, Tuesday morning, that got me thinking about Casey and his walk. It was about a new GPS deal. I always thought it was GPSS and stood for Gomer Pyle Service Station. I watch way too much of The Andy Griffith Show. When I was a kid, GPS stood for Go Play Somewhere! In the real world, it stands for Global Positioning System. Sort of a compass on steroids. People have it in their cars. I use a different GPS in my vehicle...Get People Shouting. For example, if I'm lost, I roll down my window and scream to someone on the sidewalk "Is this the way to Tightwad, Missouri?" They shout back "No...go south!" Well, now they have this fancy-schmancy GPS for your dog. It uses satellite technology to let you know where your dog is. That makes for one big dog dish!

Anyway, you go on-line and set up an invisible fence for your dog. If the pooch strays across that line, you're immediately notified by an e-mail or text message. I see some problems here.

First of all, just how smart does your dog have to be to know how to send you an e-mail or text message? And, Casey has big hairy paws. How big a keyboard is he going to require on his lap-top...a dog does have a lap but rarely gets to use it...or cell-phone? Also, what makes you think a dog that is making an escape or completely engrossed in a variety of tree and fire hydrant aromas is actually going to take time to send his or her human any kind of message? It all seems a little far-fetched. Oh, and it costs $200 bucks plus ten more each month. That's a lot of Milk-Bones.

I also have some concern that, if this thing works with dogs, it is only a small step before we're setting it up for our spouses.

Actually, if you have a dog that likes to wander, this whole deal is a good option for keeping the pup safe. But, in Casey's case, he just doesn't have the ambition to run away. Plus, he might run into a frightening goose or scary bunny. For Casey, GPS means Good Pup. Stay!