Enough with the "farewells!" Yesterday, I attended our daughter's 8th Grade Farewell ceremony. Last week it was our youngest's 5th Grade Farewell. And, of course, there was the high school graduation festival which seemed to take up most of the last 18 months. Only our second oldest, moving from high school sophomore to high school junior, did not have some sort of commemoration...but marking that transition is probably only a matter of time:

"As you fine young scholars leave the comfort of your sophomore year and enter the much more challenging junior year, we wish you only the best. True, you will be walking down the very same hallways...seeing pretty much the same teachers and fellow students...using the same lockers...but it will all be SO VERY DIFFERENT because you will be JUNIORS! In the words of Robert Frost's out-of-work brother-in-law, 'Two halls converged in the yellow 'hoods and I took the one less travelled...by sophomores and more travelled by juniors and that has made all the difference...until I become a senior and then all bets are off.' So, as you begin this next journey with a single step on this, the first day of the rest of your life in which you will take lemons and make lemonade because it is in loving we find love and in giving we find gifts and in resting we find reward and in singing we find song and in searching we find our lost car keys. Remember, most of all, close cover before striking and apply ointment only to the inflamed area. Good luck, JUNIORS!"

Before going any further I should mention a couple of things. First of all, this blog isn't going to get any better so if you have things you should really be doing, right now, I would suggest you get off the computer and get on with your day. Secondly, I know that, in some cases, things like 8th grade graduations are understandably important. Many years ago, I was taking part in such a ceremony when I asked the principal when all these kindergarten, fifth grade, eighth grade "commencements" started and why. She told me that for some of the families in her school, at least, for a variety of reasons, the 8th grade graduation would be the only one in which the student and family would ever participate. She said this in a very kindly manner, overlooking my insensitive naivete.

Now, that is a very compelling reason but, speaking just for me, the farewells, commencements, graduations, awards ceremonies sometimes seem endless. The routine is usually about the same: a few words from the principal...some certificates are handed out...a song or two is sung and then a video featuring candid shots from years past. I guess even 11 year olds can be nostalgic. Of course, it becomes something of a competition in terms of the reaction to the photos projected on the gymnasium wall. Some kids get an almost Springsteen-like response: "BRUUUUUUUUUCE!" I'm glad they didn't do this when I was a kid. The sound of retching upon seeing my face up there would've been hurtful and that would've been just from my own family. After the obligatory video compilation, a speaker representing the school the kids are heading into usually gives a little inspirational welcome.

Before you think to yourself "Oh, come on, Joel. Don't be such a curmudgeon. It's all in good fun. Lighten up. In fact, why don't you just pack up and leave town if you don't like it. We've never really warmed up to you anyway...." Please, stop thinking that stuff. I get it. Sometimes, these things can be downright adorable. For example, someone I work with told me that her kindergarten graduation was actually a very sweet, memorable day. They made little robes out of black garbage bags and mortarboards out of cardboard. Cute. I admit it. And, best of all from a parent point of view, cheap.

When I started this thing today, I was really prepared to be quite negative about all these farewells but, now, as I get to the end, with tears in my eyes, a lump in my throat and a nasty bruise on my upper thigh, I just want to say that taking this big step has turned out to be very important in shaping me as a person. As the next few blogs go by, I know I will never forget the laughs and, yes, even the tears, these few fleeting paragraphs have brought me. It is my hope that this experience...this opportunity to write this very piece...will give me the resolve to continue. I know we have shared some tough challenges together over these past minutes but, I like to believe, they have only made us stronger. So, now the time has come to march away from this webbernet moment and onto new cyber horizons. Thank you all for your support and guidance. This is not an ending. Just a beginning. As Perry Como once sang "Catch a Falling Star and put it in your pocket and soon you will have serious burns on your hips." May your hips always be a little toasty, too.