My eyes are a little itchy and I feel warmer than 98.6. I have trouble concentrating...okay, more trouble than usual. My hands get clammy. My feet sweat. My toupee slips and slides and I don't even wear one. What is my malady? A bad cold? Influenza? No. It's POWERBALL FEVER! I am not alone. When the jackpot goes above the 100 million mark, lots of folks get very interested. So, this morning on FirstNews, intrepid reporter Rob Yagmin, was giving us the odds of winning. Not great. The morning crew does go in on a pool when the number gets big enough. They even allow me to contribute...which means I have to raid son's wallets. (They get tips at their jobs and always have a buck or two. I have four children and no buck or two.) My wife is not a fair-weather lottery fan. She plays twice a week and uses the same numbers every time. These are just numbers that came to her, one day, in a flash of inspiration. She is sure they will hit one of these days and, so, she sticks with them. As her husband, I admire this kind of perseverance and am truly grateful for her willingness to stay with what, thus far, has been a loser of a choice. (Alright. Stop your snickering. I was referring to her lottery numbers not me.) You might be wondering why I don't pick the numbers, seeing as how, doing the weather, I work with numbers all the time. Wait a minute. You've seen my forecasts. Predicting the right numbers is, obviously, not one of my strengths.

Actually, my wife is much more of a gambler than I am. We went to the boats once and a casino in Wisconsin one other time. She didn't win but she loved every minute of it. Our deal had been that she could go through a twenty dollar bill. That took about two minutes. She ended up dipping into a little non-gambling money. It could've gotten out of hand if I hadn't stepped in. I still have to explain to two of four children why they have no college fund. To this day, when we drive by a gambling establishment, she gets a crazed look in her eye and starts to inch a little closer to me on the front seat of the car. The first time this happened, I thought she was being romantic but then I realized she was in an amorous mood but for Washington, Lincoln, Hamilton and Jefferson. Not so much for me. Sadly, her luck just isn't that good. In fact, we've gone by the casino completely, only to be pulled over by a gambling officer and told my wife actually lost ten bucks just by being near the place.

As for me, when I lived in Las Vegas for a little while, I would throw a coin in the slots now and then. Once I won enough to pay for show tickets to take my mom to see Liberace. In fact, I got thoroughly confused by my rare good luck and mistook the sparkling, brightly-attired entertainer for another slot machine. I ran to the stage and shoved three quarters in his mouth, pulled his arm and waited. I actually won four sequins and an emerald brooch shaped like a grand piano. By the way, the winnings fell out of his armpit. Get your minds out of the gutter!

Along the lines of trying to win big money with little effort, for a time, I was pretty consistent in sending back those Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes things. I figured I'd have a better chance if I ordered magazines...although they say that's not so. Well, I went through Time and Newsweek and Rolling Stone and Reader's Digest etc etc etc. Finally, I was down to Salamander Quarterly and Belly Button Lint Collector International. Still, I never won. One time a van did pull up in front of our house and a guy came running up carrying a giant check. Turned out it was our banker returning one that had bounced so often it was completely flattened out.

Right now, I'd better finish this thing up. I have to go find my wife. All this Powerball talk has her into full "Wanna make a bet" mode. In fact, I think I see her out in the street trying to get the neighbors into a dice game. Luck Be A Lady!