You're looking at the title of this bloggy, thinking "Well, who could blame his wife? She should probably make him sleep on a hammock in the backyard...preferably somebody else's hammock in somebody else's backyard." But, this is not a cry for marital help. Well, not on my part, anyway. This is just an answer to a couple of viewer inquiries and it goes back to our stormy Tuesday.

When it started to look like the weather was going to be tricky for Tuesday, I decided to drive in on Monday evening. I'm from Wisconsin so I learned to drive in winter conditions. However, that was mostly snow. Ice is a whole different situation. Back in the Ice Storm of 2002, I remember driving home from work in pouring rain, grabbing a couple of suits and goodies, then going back downtown for the next three days or so. In the days of our 1049 Central location, we were allowed to stay at one of the beautiful hotels right across the street from the station, if necessary. Our new building does not have a hotel or motel that close...so, when I got in, I figured I'd just camp out somewhere quiet and dark.

I got to the station at around 6:00 on Monday evening...which gave me ample time to annoy people I rarely get to see. Of course, before going in the building, I had to get the various court orders temporarily rescinded so I could do my job. (That darn Jim Flink is such a stickler!) It was great...for me...to say hello to people like Len Dawson and Marcus Moore and Martin Augustine. Martin told me about the new baby in his household. Marcus told me about his new house. Mr. Dawson said "Aren't you a little old to be the new intern?"

Sometimes, at the old building, I would sleep on the foam cushions and mats we used for the JellyBeans obstacle course. JellyBeans was KMBC's kids' show back in the late 80s. It was pretty comfy but I didn't appreciate the green slime that automatically fell from the ceiling whenever I made a move. In the new building, we have no green slime but we do have a green room. That's the place where guests wait to go on the air. There are lots of possible reasons they call this waiting place the "green room." One idea is that it goes back to Shakespeare's day when actors would stand in a room filled with plants, thinking the moisture from the greenery was good for the throat. At Channel 9, someone told me they call it the Green Room because that's the color guests turn when they think they may have to see me. Anyway, there is a sofa in there but it was taken. As was the floor. So, I headed for the lobby.

Now, KMBC's lobby is exquisitely decorated with big designer pillows and modern-art looking furniture. There are fancy-schmancy TV screens hanging there. Well, I made myself at home on one of the davenports. I like the word "davenport." Sounds classier than sofa or couch. My mother used to call it a davenport. Nowadays, you say that and people hand you a map of Iowa. Davenport was actually the brand name of a company that made things to sit on. Over time it became a synonym for sofa. Like Kleenex is for tissue or Dockers for pants or Nichols for doofus.

Anyway, around 9:00 p.m. I hunkered down in the lobby and tried to get a little shut-eye. I must have slept a bit because when I woke up there was a night-time drool stain on the designer pillow. It looked like a silhouette of Richard Nixon eating a kumquat. After turning the pillow over and cleaning up the crumbs from the peanut butter sandwich I had been eating when I dozed off, I picked up my shoes and sneaked out. I sure hope they don't have a hidden camera in there anywhere.

So, to answer the question: I slept on the couch in the lobby of KMBC. After this week, I'm thinking of opening a small Bed & Breakfast on the front lawn of the new station. Maybe out among the giant satellite dishes. If you sleep near those radioactive plates often enough, you can become your own nightlight.