Happy Halloween to all! Hope you have a fun, safe and pleasantly terrifying day. We've reached a new point in our household's Halloween situation. Not too long ago, the planning for and working on just the right costume started on the day after Halloween...for the next year! Between my wife's amazing imagination...which has allowed her to actually think I resemble George Clooney, from time to time...and my childrens' ideas about how they wish to portray themselves, the kids have been everything from Butterfingers bar to a box of popcorn to a spider with all the legs. With four kids, my wife has come up with an amazing number of aliases for them. Two of the kids, Alex and Samantha, were genuinely interested in wearing something creative and worthy of comment. Taylor wanted to be as gross or frightening as possible. Harrison was and is all about the candy. Whatever fashion would get the most goodies, that would be his choice. As I mentioned, today, only Harrison is still planning to go trick or treating and he's fine with a mask for his face and a pillow case for his bounty!

As a kid, I put together costumes with whatever was around the house. There was no such thing as buying a complete costume down at the store. I was, quite often, a clown thanks to wearing baggy clothes and painting my nose with lipstick. Sometimes, I was an old-fashioned hobo, looking a lot like the aforementioned clown but carrying a stick with a bundle on the end. Other times I was a "business man." This looked a lot like the hobo without the stick and the clown without the nose. I became a little old man once by dressing like the business man but adding a white wig and cane. (Of course, those additions did prevent my Great Aunt Lulu from leaving the house that evening.) One year, I was feeling very creative and went as a pirate, which, looking back, was actually like the clown crossed with the hobo wearing a patch over one eye. READER BEWARE: THE NEXT SENTENCE OR TWO IS A LITTLE UNSEEMLY! One of my brothers always threatened to paint his face red, fill his mouth with mashed potatoes and go door-to-door as a large boil. He wanted me to dress up like a surgical lance. Another time this demented sibling considered shaving his head, painting it blue and portraying a roll-on anti-perspirant.

As a desk clerk at the Sheraton in Madison, Wisconsin, I went as a "Joel-in-the-Box." I wore black tights which were actually quite flattering to my legs, which, as I've mentioned before, are the only part of my body that still look fairly young. If I could enter my personal calves in a state fair, I think I'd place in the top three. Then, I put a big box over my head, with my arms hanging out the sides. I added make-up and a court-jester hat. Now, having my arms sticking straight out, did make waiting on customers a challenge. I was a bit like a big, square Kool-Aid man.

Of course, my dream costume is to dress up like an empty hot-dog with a great, big smile. That way I could say I was a "Happy Hollow-Weenie!"