There are a lot of great things about my job.
For example, driving in at 2:30 a.m., you avoid lots of traffic troubles. Yes, there is the occasional case of road rage but it usually is in the form of dirty looks from possums. I have found that raccoons and foxes are less angry with me but, possums, well, they have issues.
Also, I never have to buy hair-care products. I just use the left-overs from Jim Flink. Since he was voted "best hair" a few years back by a local paper, I figure I am getting the prime stuff!

But, perhaps best of all, I get to meet and visit with so many terrific people at a variety of get-togethers. Today, I will head out to Independence and spend time with folks at the Health Care and Rehab Center. Yesterday, I was at Fleetridge Elementary in the Raytown School District. It is a great school filled with great people. The principal is Dr. Steven Archer. He introduced himself as Steve but he is a PhD. I couldn't help but give him a little trouble by saying "Doctor...I have this pain in my knee...could you help me?" He laughed like the good sport he is and, then, gave me detention for the next three lunch periods. Dr. Steve and his whole team was wonderful. The students were absolutely super...attentive, involved and lots of fun. They gave me a cool, red cap with Fleetridge emblazoned on the front! As I was leaving, a teacher asked me a common question "What do you do with all the goodies schools give you?"

This is a very generous part of the country and I can't remember the last time I left a school empty-handed. (Okay, once that was because I stole a stapler and three-hole-punch, but that was a unique situation.) Often, the gift is a t-shirt or a sweatshirt. As I've mentioned before, my wife and daughter are runners so they often swipe the shirts to use for their work-outs. My sons also wear the shirts a lot. In fact, I am missing all kinds of clothes as my older sons grow up. Mostly, ties and dress socks. But, I get back at them by wearing their dress shoes...especially on days when they need them for an event at school. That did happen a few weeks ago and I looked pretty ridiculous delivering the shoes to the high school office and walking out in my last available pair of dress socks with a couple of holes in them...fortunately, I do have a lovely big toe.

Once I was given a pillow in the shape of a torso wearing a tropical shirt and flower lei...a tribute to summer. On the way home, I strapped it into the passenger side of my car. There was a fair amount of staring, laughing and pointing from other drivers...unfortunately, most of that was directed at me. I was particularly upset when the pillow tried to grab the wheel and called me the worst driver he'd ever seen. I was going to knock the stuffing out of him but he jumped from the car when he recognized an abandoned Barca-lounger on the side of the road. I learned later they had been room-mates at Upholstery University in Fabric, South Dakota. (As I recount this story, I wonder if maybe I shouldn't have eaten all the double-fudge brownies the school also sent home with me...before I had even gotten back to my car. Too much sugar, maybe.)

To answer the original question more succinctly: everything gets put to good use from the aforementioned shirts to coffee mugs to water bottles...ties...caps...pillows, possessed and otherwise. I do, however, have a confession to make about the stuffed animal mascots some schools send home with me. When my kids were little, they would end up sitting on a bureau or nightstand...the stuffed animals not my kids. But, now that the kids are older, those cute, cuddly little tigers, falcons, Vikings, etc are usually adopted by our dog.

He's a retriever with no opportunity to retrieve when it comes to ducks and geese out in the wild. Frankly, he's a little afraid of water so that wouldn't work anyway. Well, he still loves to carry stuff around. The more stuff the better. Once, he met me at the door with a bath towel in his mouth. I told him to drop it...he did. The towel was then followed by three athletic socks, two hot wheels cars, a poker chip and one beanie baby. It was like I hit the jack-pot on some wierd canine slot machine. What I am getting at is that the little mascots disappear. I don't think he's eating them, there would, eventually, be some evidence of that...CSI: Dogville. He may rip an eye off now and then, accidentally...tough love, you know. Really, I think he is hiding them. They become his treasures.
As long as no one gives me a stuffed possum, it will be just fine.