It's that time of the year: perfectly normal people put on funny, square hats with tassels, long robes in a variety of colors and lunge for a little piece of paper. While that could refer to a casting call for the new Broadway show--The DaVinci Code-The Musical...On Ice! Or, frankly, just another Saturday night at my brother's house...that's a whole other story. What I'm talking about is graduation! Nowadays, there are ceremonies all along the way...from pre-school to kindergarten...kindergarten to first grade...elementary to junior high...and, of course, for lots of folks, the big one: graduation from high school.

Believe it or not, I have actually been asked to speak at a high school graduation...once. Word must have spread about my inspiring performance those many years ago because, I've never been asked again.
As I stepped up to the lectern that day, I looked out on young, fresh faces drooping into unmistakable disappointment. They were all very polite and friendly but I'm pretty sure the entire class mouthed, in unison, "It's our high school graduation and we get the morning weatherman?" Later, I got to thinking it may have been a brilliant life lesson for the students on the part of the school administration: "Life can be hard and things can be less than you want or expect so, as a living, breathing example, please welcome our guest speaker, Joel Nichols."

I think I lost them from the start when I went off on a rant about how important it was to be on time for things. You see, my wife had decided to come along and that meant we were running late. That is not a petty criticism, it's just the way things go around my house. Her maiden name is Philps and she operates on what I've come to call "Philps Time." That means if an event starts at 1:00 p.m. she thinks you can leave the house at 1:00 p.m. Unless, her family had one of those H.G. Welles time machines when she was growing up, I don't know how that works. Our kids lurch between Philps Time (for things like doctor's appointments and school) and my time...meaning leave a little early. The most annoying part of Philps Time is how often it works out just great. We have avoided more traffic jams, parking hassles and boring delays at events by operating on Philps Time than I care to admit. I get my "leave early" mentality from my dad. He'd be in the car 15 minutes before leaving and honk the horn until my mom got out there. If I did that, I may as well take my pillow, blanket and alarm clock with me to the car.

So, that was my opener. It would have been better for a Dr. Phil show. As we were leaving, I heard a few mumbled comments from parents...I thought they were saying "Pomp and Circumstance" but my wife thought it was "Pompous something or other."

I graduated at the height of the Disco era. Instead of an inspiring quote about perseverance from Churchill or "Ask not" from JFK, the cover of our graduation program had "How deep is your love?"-- The BeeGees. There was some talk of having us march up doing the hustle, but that never materialized. I'm pretty sure the principal wore a white suit and black shirt open to the navel while handing us our diplomas...which he did with a spin, the splits and one finger pointed skyward. The valedictorian's address was titled "Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Stayin' Alive" which, as I get grayer, actually seems rather uplifting.

There's much more I could say about graduation day and there's still much of May to say it but, right now, I have to commence onto another place. I must be running late because my wife is in the car already...honking the horn.


By the way, as you may have noticed, we don't have the feedback option on this blog right now. But, please, e-mail me any comments or ideas you have at jnichols@hearst.com. They had to take down the forum deal because there were too many entries from "Weatherman 9" saying how great the blog is...I knew I should have changed that e-mail name.